This was the theme of tonight’s AA meeting. It was decided that the definition we liked best was “the absence of conflict.” That can be the conflict of war, or the conflict in your head as you argue with Wolfie. We all want peace. Some of the group spoke about how they never have it. Their life is chaotic, they are constantly conflicted about drinking or using. These are AA members who have been sober for years! I feel so fortunate that I truly feel peace. Why am I so lucky to have avoided the madness after giving up this poison. Don’t let me speak the words “well maybe I never really had a problem.” No! Don’t let me hear myself saying that!!
I avoided the madness because I was really ready for this life-changing event. Because I know I didn’t take anything away from myself. I GAVE myself a huge gift. I don’t deny myself anything. I GIVE myself everything I want. I am finally whole. I didn’t go into this journey with a blindfold on. I prepped myself. I filled my toolbox with books and blogs and podcasts and little apps on my phone. Perhaps I over-prepared. Perhaps I’ll crash someday. But until then – I do feel Peace.