There’s been a death in the family. Our sweet yellow lab has passed away. What a horrible gap in our household. My husband and I are going through the motions, but there is something missing. Our routine of the last 13 years is broken. The tears are gone. I’m left with swollen eyes and a broken heart. So…now that I have saddened all of you…here is the reason I share this.
Today, without my furry friend, feels a bit like my first day of sobriety. Yesterday I walked in the door and he greeted me and I fed him, and I walked him, and I loved him. It was very routine and very normal. Today, I walked in the door and didn’t know quite what to do. I looked around and I had all of this “empty air” around me and nothing to fill the void. That’s what my first day of sobriety felt like. The day before, I opened the bottle of wine, poured the wine, drank the wine, drank more wine…The first day of sobriety I wandered around and didn’t know quite what to do with the void.
But eventually, I filled the void. I developed a new routine when I got home from work. I poured a glass of water if I was thirsty, I sat down to read your blogs, took a walk (with my buddy), or attended an AA meeting. Now I have another void to fill and I’m sure I will. Time will heal the hurt. He’s in a good place…no pain…no suffering. Rest in Peace, Cooper. Thanks for listening.