Party Time

Tonight is my first sober Christmas party.  I mean MY party.  My husband and I host his company Christmas party at our house each year.  In the past we have had approx. 50 people show up.  It was a pretty easy party for me.  I just had to clean the house.  They all brought an appetizer or a dessert. We provided the drinks (wine, beer, soft).  Always a fun time that everyone looked forward to each year.  The last two hours of the party was a gift exchange called “white elephant gift exchange.”  For those who don’t know what that is, each person brings a gift (either a nice, new gift – or a silly used gift).  Drawing from a deck of cards, guests are called to the tree to pick a gift – or choose one from a guest that already opened one.  It gets more complicated as the evening goes on, but it’s hilarious and the silly gifts keep reappearing each year.  The most popular gifts that keep getting “stolen” are the bottles of wine and Crown Royal that are wrapped and placed under the tree.

I’ve always looked forward to this party.  Not because these are my closest friends and I have lots to talk about, but because the wine just keeps flowing and no one is paying attention to how much I drink.  I seldom have an embarrassment, although I’ve spilled plenty.  But with such a crowd – who wouldn’t spill, right?

Well, his company has been reorganized a bit and the party is very small this year.  Only about 14 will show.  Everything will be the same, but on a smaller scale.  So, I’m cleaning the house and wishing I could skip this one.  I’m not worried about drinking because I have no nagging desire.  I’m just worried that it will be a dud of a party.  I miss the excitement I used to feel.  I miss taking a glass of chardonney into the dressing room with me while I gussied up for the party.  I’m not chatty, and these are not my closest friends although they are really nice people.  I’d just rather be in my bedroom with a good book.  

Hmmm.  Didn’t expect to feel this way.


4 thoughts on “Party Time

  1. I’m anxious to hear how everything turned out. Hope you had a good time despite the flat feelings. No parties at all this year for us. I think some of that’s because of our age, the parties have slowed as the years pass. I’ve found I’m just not that into entertaining anymore, I like my quiet evenings too.

  2. I can completely relate to this! I’m having a ‘flat’ Christmas feeling and it’s my 2nd sober Christmas. I think it’s all the hustle and bustle that is getting me down. I used to look forward to the tree trimming and the entertaining and making a list of gifts for everyone and sitting down with a glass of wine and addressing all the cards. I’m finding that now I’m looking at it all as a ‘chore’ and a ‘bore’. I think I don’t like change. I remember wine making things run smoother and more delightful events. I am just going to bed early every night and wake refreshed. But I am SO boring and flat! Blah! My family says I’m the Grinch. 😦

  3. I hope that the event last night went as well as it could for you, and of course your guests. I can relate to the idea of just wanting to be in a safe environment with a beloved activity (bedroom and book). This being my second sober Christmas I have, this year, made more of an effort to be available to the people, places and things that I removed from my life when I stopped drinking. It feels like the right thing to do but I still am not that fond of it. I have found myself feeling slightly overwhelmed and longing for escape. The escape does finally come and is a welcome respite but it makes me wonder if the effort was worth it at all.
    This much I know for certain, I am still growing and with that continuing growth comes growing pains. I sincerely hope that yours was as pain-free a night as possible and that all is well. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Thanks Glenn, Perhaps I’m expecting too much of myself this first year. I’ve been riding the pink cloud for 6 months now and perhaps I need to be a bit more patient. Afterall, I haven’t been to a party sober in what…43 years? What was I expecting?!?!?

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