Party’s Over

Whew…it was just as I had expected.  Flat.  Sat and watched the party go on around me.  I was an observer.  My own fault of course.  I don’t do more than the occasional “how’s the family” type of chat.  I have nothing in common with the guests other than we’ve known each other for years and they come to my house for an annual party.  Without my excitement over the continuous flow of wine, there was nothing.  Just waited for it to be over and they all left. 

So, I’ve realized I need to change my attitude. If I want to be a hostess, I need to learn how to enjoy the company of others.  How to talk with them and really care about how their family is.  How to share stories about my family, assuming they are interested.  I need to find something of interest to talk about and share.  Books, art, recipes, sports?  I was listening to their conversations with each other and those were the subjects they talked about.

If I don’t figure this out, I’ll be a recluse in my own home.  Any thoughts?

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10 thoughts on “Party’s Over

    • Well, the gift exchange was like a game, and once we got it started, we all enjoyed it. When it was over – I was ready for them to go home. Oh well. It was only a few hours. Every day brings better health and more interesting bloggers into my life! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  1. Well, I can relate. I’m having a huge party here next week. Last year I managed to get through the entire thing sober until I (for some stupid reason) had a drink when nearly eeryone was gone. It’s a retraining, isn’t it? Normal conversations seem so heavy, slow and different in parties sober. But we can do it….it’s just a new social adjustment, I’ve decided. Plan some questions, move around, keep somehing in your hand and down it if you need – non alch, of course…It can be done!

  2. It takes time to figure this stuff out, at least for me. Booze gave me the courage to open up a bit more or start to find interest in others (to a point, of course…then I got all boorish in nature) I find that asking people about themselves is an easy way to start a conversation…most people enjoy talking about themselves. That usually opens things up and I may find something in their story that I connect with.

    Socializing was very connected to drinking, so learning to do it without the hooch…took me time, and I am still learning. Perhaps someone will post something here so I can learn too!

    Blessings,
    Paul

  3. I find I never really listened to people before, I was too busy wondering about my next drink. Now, sober, I really listen and I’m really interested. I think it’s making me a better friend. You went into this party in a mood and that probably made it more difficult. Like you said it was as you expected. It was a new experience for you and you were lost. I think you’ll be fine. You’re a very vibrant, interesting person. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. I’ve never met you but we’ve connected on so many levels, you’ve listened to me. You can do that with anyone, even if it’s only once a year. Give yourself time. I think it’s just your own perception that you can’t connect so you probably didn’t really try. Just sayin”. You can yell back at me if I’m way off base.
    Hugs to you 🙂

    • Nope – you’re right on base. I expected it to be blah, and it was blah. I do need to make a concerted effort to connect with people. This will be new for me – whether sober or not. I never was very good at sharing. Never really thought anyone cared to know what I had to say. I’ve always been my own very best friend. That, along with moving around the country for my hubs job, makes me a bit protective of too much sharing. This blog has allowed me to share more than I have in years. It feels healthy and I think it will help me to reach out. Thanks Sharon – you’re a good friend to have and I appreciate your thoughts.

  4. Thanks for sharing your experience! I’m hosting my office holiday party this Friday and am quite nervous about it and the raised eyebrows I’m sure to get if anyone realizes I’m off the booze. Going with a “health kick” explanation for now, but still sure to get the pressure from at least a few. Have never hosted my office folk before and hoping I can pull it off, be gracious, friendly, funny… all without a drink. Yikes.

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