I’ve realized that while drinking, I really let my relationship skills wither. Not that I was all that great at forming and maintaining relationships (let’s call them “friendships”). I was sort of a loner growing up. Made up a lot of games that I could play by myself. But as I grew older I did have a nice group of friends to out with – party with. I never felt the need to have more than a handful of friends. They do require some work – maintenance. I would have to be on-call in case there was a friend emergency; I’d have to be available for late-night phone calls with one-way conversations; I’d need to provide transportation when a friend was stuck with an angry boyfriend; and I’d have to remember their birthdays – probably planning surprise parties and the like.
I know all of this, not because I had that type of friend(s), but because both of my daughters are surrounded by that type of friend(s). Their friends are their whole world. They couldn’t imagine life without their friends. I envy that. I never really had that (small pity party here).
My best friend became a box of wine and a couch. So, I let that friend go almost 500 days ago. Adios. Now I need some new friends. Friends I can help out in case of an emergency. Friends who have my cell number and can call me anytime they want to (even after 5 pm). Friends I can send a birthday card to (a real one with a stamp), and enjoy a meal with.
I’m really focusing on developing these friendships. I never knew it would be this time-consuming. But hey, I think it’s time well spent.
Hugs to all – hope you’re well.