Feeling Funky

Haven’t been posting, haven’t been reading. Just moving through life collecting hobbies, unnecessary trinkets, drinking too much coffee, and enduring the summer heat. My three year sobriety anniversary passed without too much fanfare, and sparkling water is my drink of choice.

I don’t think much about my addiction to wine. I never, ever crave it. Never miss it. And have no problem being around it.

What I do miss is my personality. I miss the excitement of the party and the anticipation of joining others for drinks and dinner. The conversations, the laughter, the party atmosphere.

Lately I just want to be home with my husband and my dog. I want to watch Fox News Network and listen to Hillary and the Donald and try to imagine the world with either one of them in charge. I don’t want to go out to dinner. I want to be home with the grill and a couple of burgers. I want to go to bed at 9.

I’m in a funk and although I try to do all the right things to get out of it, it still lingers. No, I’m not depressed. I’ve been on Prozac for 20 some years now, so it’s not that. I’m just in a funk and I’m sure it will pass.

When the weather cools, I’ll move back outside and enjoy the breeze. When August comes, I’ll enjoy the company of my children and grandchildren on our annual vacation. When my hair gets longer, I’ll stop complaining about that “in between stage.” It will pass – I’m sure of it.

5 thoughts on “Feeling Funky

  1. I hear you. … Sometimes when I’m in a funk, if I make myself do something un-funky – like dinner out or a show or a concert, then things start to just feel better. Sometimes I have to be the one to shake things up.

    Congrats on 3 years! I love that you trust in the process even in the midst of your discomfort right now. I find that incredibly inspiring.* Maybe go out to celebrate the 3-year? Your favorite place or meal? Or try somewhere new? Happy 3 YEARS!!! You’re amazing. -HM.

  2. Congrats on three years my friend, mine’s in a few days. I can relate to the funk but push through as I know you will. I just had the family vacation and it was grand. Take care.

  3. Hooray to three years! I know these feelings so well–I just want to be in, getting to know myself, not getting to know others (I feel like I’ve been there done that; the more I hang with drunkards, the more boring them become, too). I have been trying to “be more social” lately, but I, too, miss the “old drunk me” when I’m out. I miss the “old drunk me” when I’m trying to get inspired to love life, too–it just isn’t the same, and maybe it has more to do with being 42 instead of 32 than being sober instead of a drinker. Hugs to you, and be yourself, and stay the course. You are doing what you’re supposed to be doing! xx

  4. I just found your blog….I love the idea of giving yourself the “gift” of sobriety. I was in AA for 4 years a long time ago in my 30’s……I felt like it was a cult when I left and started drinking again. All these years later I want to stop drinking…I’ve tried pacing myself…sometimes well but other times not so much. We don’t live forever and I want to be present….and clear headed…..and happy.

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